People who suffer from personality disorders are often also diagnosed with depression resulting from mistreatment at the hands of others, low self-worth and the results of their own poor choices. Dissociation — Dissociation is a psychological term used to describe a mental departure from reality. Divide and Conquer — Divide and Conquer is a method of gaining an advantage over perceived rivals by manipulating them into conflicts with each other. Domestic Theft — Domestic theft is consuming or taking control of a resource or asset belonging to or shared with a family member, partner or spouse without first obtaining their approval.
Emotional Blackmail — Emotional Blackmail describes the use of a system of threats and punishments on a person by someone close to them in an attempt to control their behaviors. Engulfment — Engulfment is an unhealthy and overwhelming level of attention and dependency on a family member or partner, which comes from imagining or believing that one exists only within the context of that relationship. Favoritism — Favoritism is the practice of systematically giving positive, preferential treatment to one child, subordinate or associate among a group of peers.
Fear of Abandonment — Fear of abandonment is a pattern of irrational thought exhibited by some personality-disordered individuals, which causes them to occasionally think that they are in imminent danger of being rejected, discarded or replaced by someone close to them.
Frivolous Litigation and Frivolous Lawsuits — Frivolous Litigation and Frivolous Lawsuits are methods of withholding support, harassing or prolonging conflict by bringing unsubstantiated accusations, meritless appeals or diversionary process into a relationship or a former relationship using the court system as a proxy. Gaslighting — Gaslighting is the practice of systematically convincing an individual that their understanding of reality is mistaken or false. Harassment — Harassment is any sustained or chronic pattern of unwelcome behavior from one individual to another.
High and Low-Functioning — A High-Functioning Personality-Disordered Individual is one who is able to conceal their dysfunctional behavior in certain public settings and maintain a positive public or professional profile while exposing their negative traits to family members behind closed doors. A Low-Functioning Personality-Disordered Individual is one who is unable to conceal their dysfunctional behavior from public view or maintain a positive public or professional profile.
Hysteria — Hysteria is inappropriate over-reaction to bad news or disappointments, which diverts attention away from the problem and towards the person who is having the reaction.
Identity Disturbance — Identity disturbance is a psychological term used to describe a distorted or inconsistent self-view. Impulsiveness and Impulsivity — Impulsiveness — or Impulsivity — is the tendency to act or speak based on current feelings rather than logical reasoning.
Infantilization — Infantilization is the practice of treating a child as if they are much younger than their actual age. Invalidation — Invalidation is the creation or promotion of an environment which encourages an individual to believe that their thoughts, beliefs, values or physical presence are inferior, flawed, problematic or worthless.
Lack of Object Constancy — A lack of object constancy is a symptom of some personality disorders. Lack of object constancy is the inability to remember that people or objects are consistent, trustworthy and reliable, especially when they are out of your immediate field of vision.
Object constancy is a developmental skill which most children do not develop until 2 or 3 years of age. Learned Helplessness — Learned helplessness is when a person begins to believe that they have no control over a situation, even when they do. Moments of Clarity — Moments of Clarity are spontaneous, temporary periods when a person with a personality disorder is able to see beyond their own world view and can, for a brief period, understand, acknowledge, articulate and begin to make amends for their dysfunctional behavior.
Mood Swings — Mood swings are unpredictable, rapid, dramatic emotional cycles which cannot be readily explained by changes in external circumstances. Neglect — Neglect is a passive form of abuse in which the physical or emotional needs of a dependent are disregarded or ignored by the person responsible for them. Normalizing — Normalizing is a tactic used to desensitize an individual to abusive, coercive or inappropriate behaviors.
In essence, normalizing is the manipulation of another human being to get them to agree to, or accept something that is in conflict with the law, social norms or their own basic code of behavior.
No-Win Scenarios — No-Win Scenarios and Lose-Lose Scenarios are situations commonly created by people who suffer from personality disorders where they present two bad options to someone close to them and pressure them into choosing between the two.
Panic Attacks — Panic Attacks are short intense episodes of fear or anxiety, often accompanied by physical symptoms, such as hyperventilating, shaking, sweating and chills. Each breakup was filled with tales that made her seem like a victim, BUT she had one guy she would always pull back in for a short time. The new guys would come in on a white horse and she would say how they were so wonderful. She would have the "main guy" thrown out of their apartment, once arrested, and flaunt the new relationship.
The new guys would quickly sense the craziness and run. She would speak of needing money, someone to work on her car, etc. She deliberately did this at least six times in 18 months - and with no sincere intention of staying with him. She just lured him back for her benefit and amusement until she found a new mouse to kill. YES, they will intentionally draw you back in to satisfy their selfish wants. They will use emotional, sexual and other tactics to lure you into position.
They have a list of people in their head that fall for their game. When they are down, hurt, or need something they will work back down the list to "hoover" a person in to get what they want. The thing to remember is they are emotional vampires, manipulative types who play the victim to use people.
When you get away from BPD people and don't provide support or a safe haven for them to regenerate after their latest screw up they will largely disappear from your life - you serve no purpose to them. Go NC as much as possible. Their problems are not your problems. Do not believe the lies, tears, sexual temptations or other emotional tactics they use to "hoover" you into their plots.
Hoovering is real and, if you're not alert, you will be pulled in before you realize it has happened. I could not believe i was sucked into this vortex 15 months ago. What started out as the most amazing relationship of my life ended a year later when I was dumped like fecal waste, abandoned with no explanation, and overlapped by 2 months and eventually replaced by another unassuming sucker.
These people may have a disease, but they don't have immunity. They are still people that should be held responsible for their own actions. It is not acceptable that friends and family turn a blind eye to their continuous ability to destroy others. Simply chalking this up as a learning experience is unacceptable. Someone needs to write an article about how to mess with your ex bpd's head like she did yours.
OMG I am right there with you! I would love to mess with my ex the way she did me!! I now how you feel. But believe me when I say this. Your playing with fire, maybe even taking your life into your own hands. They don't think like we do. Trying to get even, or get payback can get you hurt. And not just emotionally. They will get theirs when they grow old alone, with nothing but regret to keep them company after so many good people they hurt.
One day they will look back and remember how you were there for her. And how she hurt you and ran. Never try to make them jealous. You will not get the result you hope for. It could end your life. Thats charming guys!! I have been diagnosed with BPD and we are all not that bad you know.
Have you guys ever wondered how bpd is for us? I am sure you all had a part to play is those relationships too.
Don't, don't you even dare saying we've all had a part to play in those relationships! I've been there, and no, I'm not perfect and sure, I've could of handled things better at moments, said better things at moments, but At moments my understanding even led me to go beyond my own borders as i respected her feelings more than my own.
And what did it get me? After 1,5 years I got dumped and replaced in 13 days. And that was only 2 weeks after she told me at her counselor how far we had gotten and how much she loved me! I've read sooo goddamn many similar stories online while trying to figure out why the heck she utterly obliterated such a thing of beauty we had in such a traumatizing display of destruction.
So don't tell me we all had a part in it, because I know every day some of the most caring and loving men are being core-damaged by a person with BPD or NPD. Bowen says we often mate with someone of our own level of emotional intelligence.
There are two levels of emotional intelligence exhibited in these comments. I encourage the reader to ask themselves which group they belong to. If we know we are functioning in true personal integrity, even if others around us don't like it or want us to change, we continue to be who we are watch this.
It is a secret each of us seeks to unravel from the day we are aware there is more than one of us around. Why do interpersonal interactions -- something we are all engaged in every day, every minute, every second of our lives -- sometimes seem so challenging, complicated, confusing, difficult, and mysterious? Melbourne escorts.
Like us Add circle. Next Prev Post. Previous Next Post. About BPDfamily. Anonymous September 1, at AM. Adele May 18, at PM. Before, there was just no time in your hands. She sucks it up with her endless problems and issues that need to be resolved. Now, it is different, you have realized that there are many things you can do without her.
After a week, just as you have prayed about your situation and getting settled with a new life without her, she sends you an email. She says she needs something from you.
Her sudden departure made her forget several things. You ignore the letter. You do not know what to make out of it. Everything is just so confusing. Are you harboring resentments? Are you bitter? Have you truly forgiven her? Then, she writes back after a few days, reiterating her request. She obviously does not want you to see what she will post in Facebook. How can she not know that things will come around and you would know anyways? She hit you were you dare not go. Are you going to defend yourself?
Or be quiet about it? With a broken heart, you decide that it will not be good for you to stay on Facebook, at least for the moment. Not, that you are not joyful about her new found happiness, but it does hurt to know that it does not bother her to start a very subtle insinuation of an injustice done to her in her previous life with you.
You start praying for her. And, letting go. It is at this point, where our Lord turns on you and comforts you and grants you an inexplicable peace.
God wants you to know that it will be ok, that you are better off without her physical presence in your life. And, you began to see and appreciate your many blessings in your life that you took for granted because she occupied most of your free time.
And, for awhile, there was silence. However, she will not fail to let you know when she is around your vicinity. Why would she want to do that? You have no idea. She wants her presence felt, that she really did not leave that far away and that she can access you anytime. Sorry, she was too busy with other people in her life.
Your life goes on, why bother? You tried to regain some family relationships you lost when she was in your life. You get really busy and decided to go out-of-town. In your absence, she comes to your house without your permission. She gets all the other stuff she forgot in the home you shared together that was important to her.
Months passed. She calls you. She apologizes. She tells you her discontent in her present life. She tells something bad, but not that bad, about the person who she is living with — the person she left you for. And, you empathize with her.
It makes you feel good to know she misses you greatly. Every time she tries to call, you just want to accommodate her.
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